Rip my jeans, not my heart
by SparkieSchteff
Summary: An angsty heartbreak story. Vince fancies Howard but Howard doesn't feel anything back except friendship. How will Vince cope? Rated for swearing
1. Weight Lifting

**Ok so this is a one shot however I am considering continuing it, depending on what people think. This basically came out of no where, I noticed there are lots of lovely stories about how Vince fancies Howard and Howard fancies Vince and they both think the other doesn't etc so I thought I'd write a complete opposite where one fancies the other but the other isn't interested.  
In this it's Vince that is in love but Howard isn't, so this contains angst and the odd swear word.  
And I wrote this because I currently have writer's block on the last chapter of Demon Souls, can't seem to find the right words for it... Anyway, this helped me un-wind.  
Hope you enjoy it, enough ramblings.**

**Disclaimer: All things Boosh belong to Barratt and Fielding and the quote under the title isn't mine, found it on google : ) Ahh good old google!**

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* * *

Rip my jeans, not my heart**

_Tired of trying, sick of crying,  
Yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying._

He was usually always full of confidence, he overflows with it normally but sometimes he got shy and lost it all, it didn't happen much but it did happen.

The hairspray, make up, glamorous clothes, accessories and more than perfect hair was just a mask, sure it got him noticed but not by the right person. In fact it got him noticed by every single person in the world except this certain one and that frustrated him.

* * *

He stood at his mirror again armed with his straightners and styled his hair until he was sure _he_ would like it. Then added the right amount of hairspray, an amount that meant if someone lit a match in the other room it would blow the whole flat up, he opened his window slightly to let the spray out and de-mist his bedroom. He did this everyday, made sure he looked good even though he hardly ever got noticed by that one person.

* * *

Today was different though, today he felt more confident. His feelings had been going on for several months now and had grown stronger everyday; he couldn't stand pretending any more. He wanted to get a heavy weight off his shoulders, he had to otherwise it would drive him insane. 

He checks his outfit in the mirror then smiles approvingly, takes a deep breath and exits his bedroom into the lounge and kitchen where _he_ was sat reading the newspaper with a cup of tea on the table. The flat smelt of toast and butter with a hint of strawberry jam, Vince smiled to himself slightly and went to pour himself a glass of orange juice from the fridge.

The radio was on letting soft music drift through the flat, it was a slow love song that seemed to make Vince feel a little nervous, he drew in some steady breaths then took a large mouthful of juice before leaning against the kitchen counters to look at his friend, Howard.

"Howard..."

"Yep?" He replies not looking up from the newspaper he was still reading from, he hadn't even looked at his friend since last night when they all went out to the pub.

"I-" He began but the words got stuck in his throat and forced themselves back into his mind, he keeps his vision fixed on the floor and hears the paper rustling as Howard lays it down on the table.

"What?" He asks softly while taking a sip of tea which was still too hot to drink, Vince's mouth opened and closed like a fish before he shook his head making his black hair flop about his face.

"Doesn't matter." Howard sighed heavily, shook his head and got back to reading the paper, snapping it back open, rustling the sheets and making a few leaflets and flyers fall out of it.

* * *

Vince cursed himself for loosing that little last ounce of confidence as he took a seat on the sofa; he crossed his legs and balanced the glass on his knee while taking a few deep breaths once again. He gathered up what little courage he had left and tried one more time. 

"Howard..."

"What?" Comes the reply, a little stern with an annoyed tone behind it "This better be worth it." Vince closes his eyes and before he can stop himself he tells his friend his feelings.

* * *

"You what?" Howard asks with half a laugh, the newspaper was balanced open hovering a few inches above the table, its pages were shaking showing Howard's hands had a slight tremble. Probably from the alcohol the previous night "I didn't quite catch that, I thought you said you loved me?" He asks clearly sounding uncertain and confused, Vince dropped his head so his fringe would conceal most of his face and his blushing cheeks "Is that what you said?" 

"Yes." He replies in a quiet tone now completely certain that expressing his feelings was not a good idea. After a couple of minutes silence Howard burst into laughter causing Vince to look up, a slight frown on his face and a hint of worry in his blue eyes "What's so funny?"

"You! Great joke that. Nearly had me there, little man." Vince's heart melted at that last little comment, 'little man'. He'd always been called that by Howard, it was like Howard's special name for him that only he as allowed to use.

"It's not a joke." He mutters back hoping his friend wouldn't hear but the laughing had died.

"Course it is...Right? You can't love me!"

"Why not?"

"Because we're completely different, Vince." He went back to reading the newspaper, the rustling of the sheets sounded strangely louder to Vince.

"So? I can't choose who I fall in love with." Howard makes a small sound like muffled laughter before coughing loudly and turning a couple of pages in the paper "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're Vince Noir." Howard began without looking up "You don't need to fall in love with anyone because everyone just falls at your feet, _they_ fall in love with _you_, I bet you've never felt real love. Only lust." The comment sounded harsher to Vince than it should have done, he dropped his head again to hide his face but Howard didn't notice.

"I don't exactly like it when people bow down to me, you know. I'm not as shallow as you think Howard."

"Okay." He nodded once without making eye contact, Vince felt the anger bubble up inside him. He knew he would burst any second and it wouldn't be with glitter, only tears, curse words and rage.

"And I ain't as thick as you think I am." Again he received another nod "And I only dress up like this to impress one person. I only take five hours to style my hair just right for _one person. _I have a bubbly, bright, sunny and ecstatic mood everyday just to impress _one person._ But that _one bloody person_ never notices a thing I do!"

"Who's that then?" Howard mumbles still with his nose in the newspaper.

"You, you berk!" Vince stands and swipes the paper away from Howard's grip who scowls at him and stands too towering over the skinny mod "You never notice me and you completely ignored me just then and you never take anything I say seriously!"

"That's because you always mess everything up and leave it for someone else to clean up and that someone else is always me! I'm sick of it! I won't bow down at your feet anymore Vince. Find someone else to do that."

"But I don't want anyone else!" He cried, his fists almost forming tight balls "I don't want anyone else." His voice cracked and decreased, his expression softened slightly to a more distraught look.

"I am not your personal slave." Vince sighed loudly with frustration as Howard passed him and sat down on he sofa.

"I don't want a slave, don't you get it? I'm trying to tell you I love you! And you won't listen, you just sit there and completely ignore the three words. Why don't you just listen to me and tal-"

"I don't love you!" Howard suddenly yells back now back on his feet startling Vince and making him jump back "I don't love you and never will! I'm not gay, okay? And you're not my type even if I were." The mod stared at Howard with his ice blue eyes that threatened tears "I don't go for annoying, clumsy mods who charm their way out of anything and everything! I don't go for someone who expects a personal slave, I told you I won't tidy up after you anymore!"

"This is not about wanting a fucking slave, Howard!"

"Then what is it about?"

"It's about me getting a weight off my chest that has been there for fuck knows how long! I can't stand it anymore, it's driving me insane!"

"And you thought telling me would help?" Howard receives a nod as he watches Vince bite his quivering lip trying desperately to hold back some tears "Oh don't start crying, you'll smudge your make-up." Howard sneered at his friend before turning away to sit back down and turn the television on, a few seconds later the fridge door slammed followed by a bedroom door.


	2. Vodka Tears

**Still I sit there with Demon Souls open staring at it for a good 10 minutes and still I find myself deleting and re-writing sentences, it just isn't coming! So I decided to carry this on and because people seem to like it : )  
So after writer's block, listening to Mighty Boosh audio commentaries from season 1 and painting Booshy doodles onto canvases I simply had to write some Boosh fiction, can you blame me? It's been one hell of a Boosh day! **

**So...More tears, more alcohol, more angst...Yep, Vince is drunk.  
Disclaimer again: I do not own : )  
Ahh and I am having my room re-decorated within the next couple of days so no computer for me D: So there may be a lack in updates to this and Demon Souls. Will have to use mother's laptop to catch up on your stories 8-) Oh the joy of the slowest laptop known to man. **

**Enough crap from me, enjoy xx**

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* * *

Vodka tears**

_Be careful with his heart. It's more fragile than you think _

He slams his bedroom door and drops the cold bottle of vodka down onto his bed then slumps down to a crouch by the wall. After a while he looses all feeling in his legs causing him to slip further onto the floor until his bum is resting on the soft carpet.

He shakes with sobs and tries to cry quietly, silently, but can't manage it. He wants to pour his heart out but doesn't want Howard thinking he was a big coward for doing so, instead he sits and stares at the Vodka with tears rolling down his cheeks leaving eyeliner stains as black as Howard Moon's heart behind. Every now and again he chokes on a sob and covers it up with a cough or a sniffle, after what seemed like hours and to save his numb backside he kneels up and crawls to the side of his bed, he reaches for the vodka, un-screws the cap and takes several long drinks as though he were drinking water. The now warm liquid gushed down his throat leaving a terrific burning sensation behind all the way to the pit of his stomach, he drank more and more before stopping because of his crying. The tears were flowing thick and fast and the Vodka wasn't helping his emotions much, he glared at the bottle and dropped his head back onto his bed and cried louder not caring what Howard thought.

* * *

Soon the volume of the television programme from the lounge increases only bringing fury to Vince's dangerous concoction of emotions, he glances at the bottle which only has a small amount of Vodka left in it, he downs it quickly and shudders with the after burn then tosses the empty bottle aside and crawls in search of more alcohol around his room. 

Under his bed he finds half a bottle of Jack Daniel's left over from his birthday a few weeks ago which disappears within seconds, as he swallows the alcohol his throat feels swollen but he chooses to ignore it and drinks the whisky as though it were water or lemonade. He'd regret it in the morning but for now he didn't care, he wanted to drown his sorrows in strong liquor and forget for just one night. He knew the memories and the heartache would come flooding back to him in the morning like a wave of sickness, as he would vomit into the toilet bowl. But for now he wasn't bothered.

* * *

After consuming the vodka and the Jack Daniel's and then sitting in silence for what seemed like forever, Vince was starting to feel quite sick but still craved more alcohol. The television had finally been switched off and the flat was flooded in darkness, when he was sure Howard had gone to bed Vince stumbled out of his room clumsily managing to stumble over his own two feet. 

He made his way to the kitchen but stopped and swayed while trying to focus on a photograph hanging on the wall, one of himself and Howard. A nice one where they have an arm round each other's shoulders and they're both friends, both smiling and looking happy. He takes the photo off the wall and clutches it with both hands still starring at it then laughs slightly and lets the photo hang by his side in his left limp shaking hand, he progresses to the fridge and pulls open the door almost falling inside from the alcohol he had already consumed.

His free hand finds itself round a bottle of red wine that belonged to Howard, Vince didn't really like wine at all, in fact he despised the taste but when he finally finished fondling with the corkscrew he found that the wine simply tasted of nothing. He drank it swiftly like orange juice from the carton and didn't even shudder when he took a breath after swallowing a mouthful. Still swaying dizzily he takes the bottle and a fresh bottle of vodka over to the sofa along with a glass and the photo. He sets the photo frame down so it is facing him and places the glass next to it while taking a large swig of the wine, he pours out some vodka into the glass then sets the bottle down and finishes his wine.

The vodka belonged to Naboo and Bollo but Vince was too out of his mind to realise the tiny Shaman would not be happy with the mod when he found out his Vodka had been completely consumed.

When the wine was finished he tossed the bottle aside allowing it to roll off to where it pleased leaving Vince to get started on the Vodka, completely ignoring the glass he drinks straight from the bottle fighting the urge to be sick and trying his best to stop his tears.

He swipes at his eyes viciously making them red and sore not only from the salty tears but from the rough material on his jacket sleeve, his sobs are choked again and his breathing is cut short, the alcohol was making his emotions run dangerously high.

* * *

When he finally composed himself and stopped the tears, he was halfway through the vodka before he noticed Naboo's Hookah sat on the floor by the television, with no grace at all he slips from the sofa and lands on his knees on the carpet and crawls towards it sloshing Vodka all over the carpeted floor. When he reaches it he lies on his front with his legs in the air and the bottle next to him, he pulls the pipe to his mouth and breathes in the fumes heavily then releases them through his mouth. A thin smile spreads across his face; he inhales several more times before letting his head flop down onto his arm. The bottle of Vodka was knocked over in his drunken state and poured from the neck flooding a pool around Vince's head and hair. 

In his sleep he made soft little murmuring noises which could have been mistaken for sobs.


	3. Iron Stomach or Shaman Magic?

**Ok so the alcohol was a bit on the hardcore side and I didn't want to write hospital chapters even though I STRANGELY enjoy writing them...Weird I know  
Instead I made up some lame excuse that sounded good in my head **

**The next chapter (I think) will get angsty again with maybe a hint of friendship/comfort, iuno yet, maybe Vince will smash a vase or three. We'll see what comes out of my head  
Oh and yayyy I persuaded the parents to keep my computer set up in my room x) Woop!  
Anyway, enjoy and of course I don't own  
xx**

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* * *

Iron stomach or Shaman magic?**

_You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why._

When the sun shone through the cracks in the curtains and filled the flat it failed to wake the sleeping drunk on the floor, the stench of vodka, wine and whisky hung strong in the air along with the smell from the Hookah. Vince slept silently not snoring or talking; the Vodka pool round his head had dried during the night leaving a matted sticky mess in his fringe.

Howard emerged from his room dressed in what he slept in and was greeted by the sight of his friend slumped over the carpet along with two bottles of alcohol both of which were empty. He sighs, rolls his eyes and heads to the kitchen switching on the kettle and pulling out a jar of coffee granules.

"Come on Vince, time to get up." He mumbles while yanking the curtains aside letting more sunlight flood the room, still the mod didn't stir "Christ, how much did you drink last night?" He comments at the stench of the strong liquor as he bends down towards Vince and shakes his arm gently "Come on, get up." He shakes harder but gets no response "Vince! Wake up." Panic starts to set in, instinctively he presses two fingers to Vince's neck and checks for a pulse. He feels an even and healthy pulse beating out against his fingers so hauls the drunk up into a sitting position leaning him back against the wall "Wake up." He clutches his face gently and shakes it then taps his cheek with the side of his hand but got nothing but disorientated mumbles. He notices the bottles of Vodka on the floor surrounded by a sticky patch of carpet, he rolls it over and reads the label noticing it was Naboo's Shaman Vodka "Guaranteed to give the drinker an 'iron stomach'." He reads with a confused expression on his face then turned to the back of the label "When drunk, this liquor will give the drinker a lining of 'iron' in their stomach to help prevent poisoning. Warning, does not prevent vomiting." He half laughs and sighs "Great." Then stands to get some coffee for himself and for Vince when he finally woke up "Right come on, up." He waves the coffee under the younger man's nose to try and bring him round but he knew he would need something stronger so instead he picks up the empty bottle and waves that under Vince's nose.

* * *

Eventually Vince stirs and starts to come round, when he opens his eyes he bats the bottle away and coughs violently. His head swims dizzily and his stomach wriggles about uncomfortably.

"What the hell did you drink last night?" Howard demands before Vince's eyes have even adjusted to his surroundings.

"I can't remember." He mutters while rubbing his hands over his face wiping away black eyeliner stains.

"Were you crying last night?"

"What do you care?"

"I hate to see you cry."

"So last night when you made me cry you closed your eyes did you?" Vince shakes his head and struggles to his feet pushing away a helping hand from Howard then staggers toward the bathroom slamming the door behind him. He drops to his knees and clutches the toilet bowl with pure white knuckles then waits for the alcohol to come flooding back up his throat.

"You're lucky you aren't dead, Vince." Comes Howard's voice from behind the closed door, Vince just rolls his eyes and breathes deeply trying to persuade the vomit to hurry up.

"You wouldn't care." He retorts shooting his head towards the door but dizziness washes over his anger making him swing his head back toward the toilet, he gags dryly and nothing comes up, he feels bile rise from his stomach but it simply drops back down.

"Don't say things like that!"

"Whatever."

"You're just angry..."

"Damn right." He mutters, gagging again leaning into the toilet bowl. Usually it wasn't so hard for him to throw up alcohol but this was proving a difficult task. There was silence between the two for a while, Howard waited at the bathroom door listening to Vince retch, cough and suddenly cry.

"What's wrong, can I come in?"

"No! Just...Just fuck off!" He battles with the retches desperate for them to stop, his throat was getting sore and the heaving was increasing making it hard for him to draw in breaths turning his cheeks a scary shade of blue.

"Are you alright in there?" Howard calls sounding clearly worried, he hears Vince spluttering for breath then hears him retch again and decides to help him whether he wanted it or not. Thankfully the bathroom door wasn't locked, he made his way in and knelt down by Vince and the toilet and made to hold the mod's hair back out of the way, he stopped hesitantly then sighed a little louder than he intended to and gently scooped Vince's hair out of his face and held it back. The smaller man's face creased into a frown for a split second but Howard didn't notice, instead he rubbed Vince's back in a circular motion with his free hand and winced each time he retched.

"I'm fine." He chokes out between heaving and gives a quick glance to Howard who shakes his head in a way that showed he didn't believe Vince one bit.

* * *

After several long minutes most of the alcohol had finally left Vince's stomach and was swimming in the bottom of the toilet bowl, he slumped himself against the radiator not caring that it was on and would eventually burn his skin. He felt drained and dizzy, his head was murdering him, his eyes were still sore and his throat felt like sand paper.

"Bet I look a state don't I?" He mumbles looking at his friend who is sat opposite him on the floor.

"You look lovely." Howard jokes with a slight laugh and smile then stands and flushes the sick away.

"I wish you meant that." The air was tense as the sentence slipped from Vince's mouth but he felt too sluggish to care, he just wanted to lean on something soft and go to sleep.

"Come on, you should sleep the hangover off." Howard changes the subject as though he had read Vince's mind, feeling too tired to argue he let's Howard pull him to his feet and guide him to the couch but dizziness wins him over and he ends up falling into Howard pushing him down onto the sofa with him. He collapses in a heap with his face pressed against his chest feeling too exhausted to move himself, he feels comfortable in this position and a smile spreads across his face but Howard however doesn't and gets up immediately making Vince's head flop down onto the cushions.

"No I can't just do that Vince." He blurts out moving away to pick up the empty bottles from the floor.

"Do what? I wasn't trying to do anything."

"You know what."

"I just fell." Vince half laughs against the cushions on the chair with a slight frown on his face "I wasn't trying to get into you or anything like that. How shallow do you think I am?" He received no reply "Sometimes it really pisses me off how little you think of me, Howard." He stands shakily and heads to his bedroom "Even though you may think nothing gets to me, that one thing really does." He slams his bedroom door and flops onto his bed, he hears Howard call to him from the lounge.

"You'll get over it soon, Vince." The sentence sends flares of anger through his system making tears fly from his eye sockets. The heartbreaking thing was, that statement was the truest thing Vince had ever heard and it tore him apart inside.


	4. Wallpaper Lists

**Hmm I doubt there will be a happy ending but we'll see  
So in this chapter there's reference to Sharpie markers and felt tip pens which is basically a bit of me in my story. I adore the smell of marker pens (randomly) and I love doodling with felt tip pens, I haven't done that on my wall though (I use paint xD) but I do use them in sketch books etc when I'm peed off  
And the sunset was inspired by the gorgeous view of one I had from my window this evening :) **

**That's all, enjoy!  
Not so much angst, just a lot of descriptive stuff  
Disclaimer: Not mine cept I do love marker pens :D And no am not a solvent abuser XD  
And thankyou for the lovely reviews :) They make me very happy :D**

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Wallpaper Lists**

_Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even __with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet._

He lies in bed weeping from one silly sentence; he crosses his arms over his chest and faces his bedroom wall with his back to the rest of his room. After he had controlled his crying from a gushing river to light silent trickles he sits up scrunching his duvet and stares glumly at nothing in particular thinking over the last sentence he heard Howard shout to him, it sickened him to know he was right even though Vince doubted he would get over it 'soon'.

His eyes catch sight of a permanent marker lying on his dresser table, he always had them lying around incase he ever wanted to doodle on something plus he loved the scent they gave off, he picks it up slowly in his hand and stares at it dumbstruck then glances at his bedroom wall, with a light shrug he removes the cap and drops it on his bed then kneels on top of the mattress squashing some pillows. He pauses with the pen against the wallpaper then without thinking he begins to write and doesn't intend to stop until he feels he's finished.

Soon enough he lets the pen dance all over the wall, he tilts it up so it doesn't turn grey, he wants a bold black line in his writing to make it perfect. He draws lines and squiggles which form words on the wall, he bullet points each sentence and occasionally adds a doodle just to amuse and cheer himself up. The smell of the marker drifts around his head, he breathes it in and smiles warmly.

* * *

After a while he gets bored of black and searches for a pack of felt tip pens he knows he has in his room, eventually they appear in an old messenger bag he hadn't used in years. The colours were perfect, the pens looked as though they had never been used, he tips the contents onto his bed and sifts through the rainbow choosing an electro blue colour. He adds colour to his list, he draws blue lines next to the black ones then adds dots and scribbles, he adds stars with a yellow pen and uses red and blue to draw random shapes and faces.

Soon he gets bored of the silence and turns on his CD player letting it play whatever was in. As the best of Gary Numan played through the speakers he continued to draw all over his wall, it made him feel better and relaxed him. It was helping in a way and he was thankful for a way to release and vent his anger in a non-violent way.

Every few minutes he leans back with a pen in his mouth and admires his work, his list. Colourful dots of ink litter his hands, fingers and even his arms as though he had just been involved in a vicious pen fight with a friend but he didn't care, the colour cheered him up and turned everything from grey to all the shades of the rainbow. He tosses his brown and grey felt tip pens behind him scowling at them, they were ugly shades for his bedroom wall and he didn't want them being involved.

* * *

Finally when he knows he is just about finished he takes several pens in his hand and lines them up in the order of the rainbow then sets them all to the wall and draws in waving motions making the lines dart and flow around the words. When he is happy with his rainbow he caps the pens and drops them on his bed then stands back to admire his work, he reads it silently to himself with the music still playing.

The words were formed in a list with decorative rainbows, stars and random squiggles surrounding it, he glanced at the title first 'How to get over him' he had called it, he had underlined 'him' several times with a red pen then had drawn blue lines around it to make it stand out.

When he finishes reading the list he picks up his black marker and crosses out one of the sentences, the one that reads 'Run away'. As he does he realises it was never really a good way to get over Howard, it would only cause more heartache and the memory of him rejecting him would still be there.

He runs a finger down the list and stops at a certain one, taps it and reaches for a bright purple pen and circles the sentence several times not caring that he crashed into the words above and below, then drops the pen, grabs his coat, boots, keys and wallet and leaves his room and the flat altogether.

* * *

Howard had ignored him when he left, he merely stared after him, didn't even ask where he was going. Vince didn't look back at him, didn't address him either, he just darted straight out as quickly as he could, the silence was deadly awkward even though his CD was still playing and the television was on too.

The fresh air hits his face as he shuts the door to the flat, he glances up and down the street, the sun is setting casting a glorious blend of red, orange, blue and even purple across the sky, the sun was a fiery red globe just above some houses but it was a warm red, one that didn't hurt too much to look at for a while and one that didn't reflect anger, if it reflected anything it was relaxation.

Vince decides to walk towards the sun set in a daft hope of reaching it and becoming one with it, he wanted to relax and the drawing had helped him but passing Howard in the flat just made him hurt more. The more he gazed at the sunset the more he longed for an endless Summer, he never did enjoy the cold much.

By the time he reached his destination the sky was bathed in red, blue and purple. It looked beautiful, he wished he had his camera or even his phone to take a photo with but stupidly he'd left his mobile in his room. He takes one last look at the sun set, opens the garden gate in front of him and heads toward the door, knocks and waits for it to be opened.


	5. Drunk again?

**First I want to thank ****xCaTTeHx for pointing out my annoying habit of tense switching, hopefully I've stuck to one tense in this. I get carreid away with writing then when I proof-read I find myself changing loads of stuff but I must have missed some.**

**And I tried posting this last night but the site wasn't having it, sites don't like me recently like Deviantart 8-) But today it's behaving so enjoy this drunken angsty chapter :) Yes he's drunk again 8-)  
xx**

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* * *

Drunk again?**

_Make me stay. Say something sweet and tender and untrue and make me stay._

Five hours had passed since Vince stormed out of his bedroom and left the flat, Howard hadn't bothered stopping him to ask where he was going. He just assumed he was out for a walk and would be back later but after the second hour he had started to get slightly worried even though he didn't show it.

He flicks off the television impatiently and picks up his mobile, searches for Vince's number and dials. Soon he hears 'Cars' playing in one of the bedrooms and angrily cancels the call and slams his phone back down on the coffee table.

"Where the hell is he?" He asks to the flat not expecting an answer back, out of boredom he shrugs and heads to the mod's bedroom and slowly opens the door. He peers into the darkness, the duvet is scrunched up and most of Vince's pillows are lay on the floor in a pile, the room smells strongly of marker pens and hairspray. Howard fumbles for the light switch and floods the room with light revealing Vince's masterpiece on the wall, he approaches it and reads it carefully with a frown set upon his face.

"If he thinks I'm cleaning that off his wall he's got another thing coming!" He mumbles again to no-one then reads the title to himself several times, even out loud, next he examines the purple circled sentence figuring that must be the reason why Vince had left the flat and had been out for so long.

Howard's eyes drift downwards towards the last item on the list, a heavily decorated sentence which looks as though Vince had tried to disguise it with daft doodles and colourful squiggles, the rainbow runs straight through the words but doesn't to the others. His eyes widen and his heart beats a little faster as he takes in what the last bulletpoint says, he doesn't even want to think about it. It makes him sick to read it to himself "End everything." He reads out loud but it sounds worse, had he made his friend want to end everything?

Howard reaches for the large black marker lying innocently on Vince's duvet; he uncaps it and lets the aroma waft around the room then places the nib to the wall. Furiously he scribbles out the last bulletpoint until they are simple, ugly, thick black blocks on the wallpaper. His anger gets the better of him as the pen runs madly through the whole of the list not caring that Vince would be extremely upset if he saw what had happened to his fabulously colourful work. He wasn't prepared to let Vince ruin his life over one stupid little crush he had on him, he wanted to tear down the wallpaper and dispose of the insane list, he wanted to burn it, erase it forever, paint over it with happier thoughts or plaster it in photographs of cheerful memories.

Soon enough the marker runs out and he drops it back onto the bed not even bothering to cap it then stands back and leaves the room as though no one had been in it.

* * *

The hands of the clock creep into the early hours of the morning, Howard sits down at the sofa with a hot cup of coffee, the television is on but he doesn't pay much attention to whatever was playing. 

He glances at the window every so often for no reason at all, it wasn't like he could see the street or the front door to the flat from there. All he saw was the moon surrounded by grey clouds, and a couple of stars were dotted about but that was it. An orange glow emits from the street lamps and lights up little areas of the road; the air is silent outside. No cars rush past and no footsteps or voices can be heard but then came scratching noises against the door, several scratches, thumps and curses later a key is pushed heavily into the lock and turned followed by a cold breeze and the stench of alcohol.

Howard sighs and sips his coffee trying not to express that he was annoyed at Vince, not that the young man would even notice or remember in the morning. He watches as Vince clambers the steps on his hands and knees then fumbles for the banister missing it completely nearly planting his face in the top step. His sunglasses sit wonky on his nose covering his probably blood shot eyes, his clothes look rumpled and even stained with some type of alcohol and his hair is a tangled mess.

"Drunk again?" Howard asks resting his mug on his lap even though the heat burns through his trousers scorching his skin beneath. Vince looks up suddenly and smiles dizzily and shakes his head in a disbelieving way giving himself head rush.

"I'm fine." He slurs crawling off the stairs and into the flat, he pushes his legs up into a crouch then waves his arms about as though he is surfing and tries to stand up. Half way he grins then straightens and takes a couple of dizzy steps then sits himself on the sofa "I'm great." He nods again flopping his head back onto the cushion, Howard just shakes his head at him and takes another mouthful of coffee "What have I done?" Vince asks innocently blinking several seconds longer than he should.

"Went out, got plastered, didn't even tell me where you went."

"Sorry." He slurs back trapping his hands between his knees like a child; he giggles softly then tries to prise off his shoes.

"Where were you anyway?"

"Leroy's place. Drinking and...Stuff." He spits the last word out and tosses a boot across the room letting it thump against the wall then shrugs off his coat but shivers as the cold air in the flat hits his sleeveless arms "S'cold in here." He mumbles "Warm me up?"

"What?" Howard looks his friend up and down and examines the state he is in; he feels a pang of guilt knowing that was his fault.

"Or I could warm you up." Vince rises unsteadily and makes his way over to where Howard is sat, he stumbles clumsily over his feet and falls into the chair on top of Howard spilling hot coffee all over them both.

"Vince, be careful!" He moans shaking his burning hand and trying to brush coffee off his leg to stop it scolding him "You got it all over your arm, hasn't it burnt you?"

"Can't feel it." He mumbles hazily trying to get comfortable on Howard's knee who had tensed with his friend sitting on him. Vince leans forward, the alcohol stronger close up and crashes his lips against Howard's top lip and cheek; quickly he pushes him away but the younger man proceeds and forces himself upon him violently trying to kiss Howard.

"Vince...Vin-" Howard's body tenses as he struggles with the drunk against him, the coffee cup spills it's remaining contents all over the chair and his leg "Get off!" He yells pushing the smaller framed man away, Vince tumbles backwards in a drunken state smashing his head against the coffee table on his way down, he lays sprawled out on the floor motionless "Vince?" Howard mutters quietly "Vince? Come on, stop mucking about!" He laughs slightly and drops to his knees on the carpet; he crawls to Vince only to find him knocked out cold "Shit." Without thinking he scoops up the small man and carries him to his bedroom and sets him down on his bed by his now scribbled out list.

Howard checks for a heart beat and finds one then turns Vince on his side incase he vomits and chokes during the night from the alcohol, he flicks off the light and leaves the door open slightly and goes straight to the kettle for a fresh cup of coffee.

It was going to be a long night.


	6. Without a licence

**Driving, for some reason, calms me down when I'm angry (I know you shouldn't drive when angry but hey I'm not a physco driver) so that's where the idea for this came from.  
The lyrics under the title are from the All-American Reject's song 'Swing Swing', love it **

**So yeah, enjoy xx  
And I pray to god I don't change tenses in this...I hate the fact I get carried away with story telling x)   
Apologies if it does change and if it doesn't make sense and if there are silly spelling mistakes.  
Oh and if it confuses anyone, because it starts with Howard then goes onto focus on Vince who wakes up before Howard so the story sorta time travels...Anyway...**

**

* * *

Without a licence **

_(Swing) Swing, Swing from the tangles of  
My heart is crushed by a former love  
Can you help me find a way  
To carry on again._

When he wakes he notices the bedroom door he purposely left open is now shut, the bathroom door is also shut, he could hear the sounds of running water coming from inside the room.

He shifts in his place on the sofa, an empty mug lies wedged between his leg and the cushions on the chair. His back and neck ache from sleeping on the sofa all night instead of his comfortable bed, he shivers from the cold atmosphere in the flat and stifles a yawn as the water in the bathroom stops. He pauses and freezes his actions awaiting the handle to turn and reveal his friend in probably a hungover state; the night had been a tough one. Jumping up and snapping out of a doze whenever he heard Vince cough or mumble in his sleep. He only managed to drift off into heavy slumber at about six or seven in the morning, now it was coming close to midday already.

He contemplates another coffee but dismisses the thought immediately as the bathroom door slides open swiftly followed by a cloud of steam and padded footsteps.

* * *

Vince wakes at gone half eleven, shakily he rises from his bed discovering he is in dire need of a shower. He manages to pull himself off the bed by half rolling in a tired, hungover state and lands with a thud on the carpet. He drags himself to the bathroom noticing Howard is fast asleep in the lounge and shuts himself inside the bathroom.

He pulls the shower curtain across after turning on the water letting it splash and rain down into the bottom of the bath; he strips from his clothes and tosses them into a pile by the radiator and carefully steps into the water.

The droplets refresh his skin and eliminate it of the stench of alcohol he has grown to hate, half-heartedly he washes his hair with both shampoo and conditioner then washes the rest of his body properly.

After he has tended to his hair and skin he folds his arms and leans gently against the bathroom wall, the water trickles over half his body warming his left side while his ride side remains cold against the icy bathroom tiles. He closes his eyes and doesn't open them for at least another fifteen minutes; he shuts off the water and clambers out careful not to slip.

He pulls a fresh towel from the rack and towel dries his hair then the rest of his skin before finally wrapping the towel round his hips. He faces the mirror and pulls a face at his reflection and begins to sort out his hair, after a while he gives up, drops his arms and gathers up his clothes then leaves.

* * *

Vince ignores Howard as he makes the journey from the bathroom to his bedroom, once inside the safety of his own room he shuts the door as softly as he can and tosses his clothes onto the floor. For the first time that morning the state of his wall catches his eye, his doodled list had been literally destroyed with a thick black angry marker pen. He bites his lip at the side and casts his vision away from the disaster area and pulls out some fresh clothes from his wardrobe. He dresses in silence then once again towel dries his hair before grabbing his hairdryer and hairbrush.

Each lock of hair is combed through gently, he teases out the knots and ugly tangles until everything is straight and neat, he then attacks his hair with his hairdryer, his fringe blows upwards off his face as he sluggishly dries each hair on his head.

Next he turns on his straightners; secretly not in the mood to bother styling his hair he starts on his fringe anyway, soon enough his hair is freshly styled and covered in hairspray.

The mess on his wall can be seen in the corner of his eye, tempting him to storm out of his room, volume tuned up to max, fists clenched, screaming and flailing at his flatmate but he keeps his calm and tries his best to ignore it. To take his mind off it he decides a DVD would help, he selects one from his collection, which is buried under several pairs of boots and shoes and inserts it into the player and switches on his television.

* * *

Howard hears noise coming from Vince's room and decides not to disturb the young man while he is occupied with something other than alcohol, instead he clears up the kitchen a little then grabs a pen and paper and scribbles a note saying he has gone to bed to catch up on sleep then sticks it to the fridge using alphabet magnets, he spells out Vince's name above the letter then drags himself to his room.

He drops down onto his bed thankful for a comfortable mattress and soon is taken away by a deep and much needed sleep.

* * *

When the film finishes Vince immediately switches off his television, he had hardly paid any attention to the film. His mind had been wandering elsewhere, he wanted to get away from the flat for a few hours and away from Howard and the anger he had caused Vince from messing up his list.

In the end he leaves his bedroom still undecided on what to do and instead of finding Howard he finds a note attached to the fridge by his name. He screws it up after reading it and tosses it aside. The paper ball rolls to a stop next to a set of keys, Howard's set of keys for the van. Vince eyes them for several seconds before snatching them up, he leaves hastily after pulling on a pair of comfortable boots and a jacket and heads out of the flat locking the door behind him.

* * *

He sits in the van unsure of whether it's a good idea, he locks the doors cautiously and inserts the key into the ignition, he turns it three times then a fourth causing the engine to roar into life. He jumps slightly and lets go of the keys leaving them dangling in the ignition, he straps his seatbelt across his chest and lap and angrily switches off the jazz tape that sounds through the speakers. Instead he opts for the radio then sits and stares dumbly at the switches and controls surrounding him.

Vince doesn't know how to drive but had watched Howard loads of times before, he presses his foot down uncertainly on a pedal making the engine rev then presses another pedal which does nothing making Vince assume that was the brake. He looks down and notices the large lever sat next to his leg, he clicks the button like Howard always does and drops it down making the van roll forwards, he clutches the steering wheel and turns left quickly and heads down the road.

After a while of driving he starts to relax, he presses the accelerator to go faster and brakes at red lights and pedestrian crossings, driving wasn't as hard as he thought.

* * *

Soon darkness falls; Vince pulls over after having found the indicators half an hour ago. He stops on the side of the road fumbling around with the controls, he turns dials and pushes buttons, the hazard lights flick on and off and click annoyingly until he slams them off again. He turns the windscreen wash on then finally finds the lights lighting up the dashboard and the road in front of him. He smiles at his triumph and pulls back into the road being careful not to crash into any other cars. After another twenty minutes of driving he pulls over and gets out with the keys locking the door behind him, he clambers onto the bonnet of the car and leans back gazing up at the stars, he sticks his hands in his pockets and finally feels relaxed and completely free of any anger. 


	7. Don't get caught

**So after this there will probably be one or two more chapters, I'm getting quite bored with this actually because to be honest I don't like it /  
But I'll finish it  
xx**

**

* * *

Don't get caught**

_If your gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears._

His phone vibrates against his leg dragging him out of his half-sleeping state; he shakes his head slightly and rubs his eyes while fumbling about for his mobile. He pulls it out and sighs reading the name on the display, he answers quietly almost in a guilty and apologetic tone.

"Hi Howard."

"Vince, have you seen my keys? I can't find them anywhere." Vince bites his lip in thought then casually glances down to the metal keys and keyrings in his hand; he clasps them in his fist and shakes his head while answering.

"No, have you tried your coat pocket?"

"Yeah, I can't find them. I've looked everywhere."

"Where did you last have them?" Vince asks trying to disguise the fact he had stolen them, he couldn't help but smile a little as he was actually having a normal conversation with Howard for once, something they hadn't had in a long time.

"I can't remember, the kitchen counter I think."

"Why do you need them?"  
"I just fancied going out for a drive. I was going to see if you wanted to come along but when I went to check on you, you'd disappeared."

"Yeah, sorry about not leaving a message or anything." He mutters while stroking one of the photo-frame keyrings in his hand with his thumb.

"Well at least you had your phone this time. Where are you anyway?" Vince wanted to tell the truth but knew Howard would freak out about the van but the more he thought about it the more he realised he didn't actually know where he was. He looks around desperately for a sign telling him his location but saw nothing, he was surrounded by fields and a forest in the distance and the city was behind him. He hadn't realised he had driven so far away from home. Panic starts to set in as he desperately swings his head from side to side trying to recognise the location "Vince, are you still there?"

"I don't know where I am." He blurts out without thinking about it, he hears silence on the other end followed by a confused and dazed reply from Howard.

"You what? You aren't drunk again are you?"

"No! Stone sober." He protests feeling a little insulted "I don't know where I am, Howard!"

"Well...How the hell did you get wherever you are?"

"Uhm..." Vince bites his lip hard not wanting to reveal that he had stolen Howard's van but he saw no other way of getting out of his predicament "You see...Uhm..."

"Spit it out!"

"But you'll freak out at me!"

"What did you do?" Howard's voice sounds strongly concerned and rather strict; the silence almost kills Vince as he tries to tell the truth. In the end he mutters a curse word and a quick prayer then blurts it out.

"I took your van."

"How the hell did you drive it? You can't drive!" Howard's voice doesn't rise in volume but does sound more angry and frustrated than before.

"I figured it out in the end." Vince half shrugs even though his friend can't see, he drops the keys into his lap and sub-consciously fiddles with a lock of his hair.

"Turn around and go back the way you came. Make sure the lights are on, lock the doors and for god sake don't get caught, Vince!"

"Is that it?" Vince asks sounding completely shocked; he had expected more of an outburst from Howard than advice on how to get home.

"I'll see you when you get back. Don't get caught." He warns then hangs up leaving Vince with several beeps, he slides his phone back into his pocket and slips off the bonnet giving the stars one last look. Shakily he gets back into the van, locks the doors and fastens his seatbelt. His palms feel hot and sweaty against the ice cold steering wheel, he turns the ignition again and fires up the engine then turns the wheel all the way to the right, slowly he presses his foot onto the accelerator sending the van to the right in the middle of the dead road. He had seen Howard turn the van around plenty of times but didn't realise it was a tricky thing to do, not realising he had to stop and reverse, the whole left side of the van is attacked by the hedge lining the road. He curses while straightening up the wheels then carries on down the road taking a deep breath, if the road had been any smaller he knew he would have driven straight through the hedge and into the neighbouring field.

* * *

The drive home is an unnerving one; Vince winds the window down a little to let in some fresh air even though it ruffles his hair a tiny bit. He taps the wheel along with the music drifting from the speakers and keeps his bottom lip clamped between his top and bottom teeth. Potholes in the road shake the car causing him to panic a little but as soon as the road straightens out he takes a deep breath and relaxes again. 

Finally he pulls up to the flat and switches off the ignition pulling up the handbrake, he slips off his seatbelt then just sits in his seat and stays completely still not wanting to get out and face Howard but his flatmate had already seen him through the window and soon appears by the van. He taps on the glass making Vince jump slightly uttering a curse word; he could see fear swimming in those blue eyes.

"Unlock the door then." He taps again making the younger man jump into action, they both sit in silence in the car. A terrible and awkward silence that feels slightly embarrassing to Vince "Why did you take it?" he asks shattering the unpleasant tranquillity in the vehicle but Vince simply shrugs back running a finger along the steering wheel in a circular motion "You can't even drive!" again he shrugs "You could have been caught and pulled over, could have been fined, arrested, taken to court...You could have been killed!" Howard carries on ignoring the shrugs from Vince trying not to raise his voice too much "How did you even figure out how to drive it?"

"I'm not completely stupid you know!" Vince snaps his head in Howard's direction spitting out the words "It's not exactly hard. I've watched you do it a thousand times! My brain isn't mush, Howard. There is actually something going on in there even though you may not believe it!"

"I was only asking."

"Well...I watched you din't I?" Vince carries on moving his finger around the wheel "Always used to watch you drive secretly hoping you'd teach me. No chance of that though is there?" He pulls on the door handle and slides out of the van leaving the keys behind on the chair; he retreats to the flat expecting Howard to follow. Instead he hears the van roar into life and drive off down the street, he shakes his head and enters the empty flat wishing Naboo and Bollo were back from their 'Shaman Business'.


	8. Teddy Bear

**Argh no update for days, here's the explanation if anyone's bothered XD Wed was my birthday, got drunk, Thurs was my friend's birthday so we got drunk, stayed over at her's then Friday I of course was hung over, Saturday I was busy and today I've been doing an art project but have managed to write this. I was watching the Notebook while typing it and by the end was in bloody tears so hopefully this isn't depressing.  
And I've added spaces in the huge conversation because the huge chunk of textwould have been amazingly hard to read. So I've made it (hopefully) easier for you all. Oh and this is a slightly weird chapter in my opinion.**

**Again sorry about the huge gap in updating and the next chapter should be the last  
xxx  
Oh and if you're wondering the word 'din't' is supposed to be spelt like that, it's how I hear Vince say 'didn't' :) **

**

* * *

Teddy bear**

_"You really don't have to be young to find a friend in a teddy bear."_

He sits in his room clutching at an old teddy bear from a day out at the fair a few years ago, Howard had won it on one of the games and handed it to Vince out of friendship not love. He kept it ever since even though it meant very little than love.

He squeezes the bear's middle and brings his legs up to his chest resting his arms on his knees, he bounces the toy up and down, a small smile playing at his lips but he refuses to let it spread and grow. He doesn't feel like smiling, doesn't want to, doesn't think he deserves to.

"He always used to be so nice to me." He speaks randomly to the bear in a hushed voice, a gentle one that doesn't expect a reply back "Din't he? What changed though?" He pauses and frowns at the bear "Me, it was my fault I guess." He hears a door shut but decides to carry on speaking to the inanimate teddy bear "I wish I never said anything, should have bottled everything up and kept it to myself. It would have been better that way, don't you think?"  
He waits for a reply and even laughs at himself slightly for doing so "Do you reckon he's always thought of me as stupid?" feeling desperately alone he grips at the bear's stomach tighter "I think he always did. Always saw me as an idiot, simple minded...Someone who obsessed over material possessions. He got it wrong though...Din't he? I'm not self-obsessive..." His voice cracks a little then in an uncertain tone he adds "Am I?" He loosens his grip on the bear a little; his hands drop over his knees tucking the bear out of sight.

"I try not to be, I try my hardest not to hurt people. I try to not fuck things up but things happen y'know? I'm only human, everyone makes mistakes. I just make them more than others do." He drops his legs and crosses them then sits the bear down in front of him feeling a little embarrassed to be talking to a child's toy "I just wish I could go back to when my feelings all spilled out. Wish I could take them back and just carry on life as normal. At least then me and Howard would still be friends, I miss being friends with him. He's gone all cold on me now, I think...I-" The words choke in his throat but he doesn't understand why, he had said them many times before perfectly fine.

He rests his head on his bedroom wall and clasps his hands together taking a deep breath, he glances towards the window noticing darkness had fallen and the only light in his room comes from the dim desk lamp on his bedside table. His eyes drop back down to the bear sat staring at him with it's glassy button eyes, it's stare is almost an unnerving one for a teddy bear, for a child's toy "I think he hates me." He finishes his sentence and shuts his eyes gently wishing it weren't true "I didn't mean to take his van, I just wanted a bit of freedom, y'know? Haven't got that around here lately. And I din't mean to get drunk all the time, it just happened y'know? And...And I din't mean for the alcohol to drown everything out, it tasted so good at first and made me forget but then it just made everything worse...It started to taste just like water, like nothing. And it stopped making me forget, it just made me remember even more so I drank and drank and I drank more and more but it stopped working. It stopped doing its job din't it? It din't work anymore."

His voice trails into a murmur as he feels a familiar lump in his throat "He made me do it and he knows it did. Why else would I drink myself nearly to death? And why else would I steal his keys and drive his van late at night when I don't know the first thing about driving! That proved something though din't it? Proved that I do have a brain and that I can do something if I set my mind to it. He doesn't believe that though, he just thinks I'm stupid. But it's his fault...But I guess he is right I mean...Look at what he's got me doing! Talking to a stupid teddy bear!"

His anger gets the better of him, rises from his stomach and bubbles through his veins, takes control of his actions making his hand grip the teddy bear into a ball of furry fury and making him toss it across the room. It hits his chest of draws and bounces off sending various hair products to the floor "Maybe I am stupid, like he said. He's always right in't he?" He drops his head into his hands wiping furiously at his eyes that demand to spill over his cheeks "Sometimes I wish I was the one who was right for once. Why can't I be clever like him? Why can't I make the right decisions instead of opening my stupid gloss covered mouth and saying the wrong things?" His tears protrude from his eyelids forcing their way down his cheeks, his voice turns to drastic sobs as his emotions get the better of him, without thinking he carries on, his voice a little raised but sounding all the more distressed "I hate being like this! Why can't I be perfect? Why do I have to mess everything up all the time..."

A knock disturbs him from his hysteria, he jumps slightly and bites at the side of his hand trying not to burst out in another fit of manic tears, he ignores the knock hoping it would go away but it carries on. It continues until finally the owner's voice speaks up.

"Vince...Please can I come in and talk to you?" He releases his hand from his mouth ignoring the purple dented teeth marks in his skin with a shakey hand he wipes at his tears and cuddles his legs up to his chest, he clears his throat and controls his breathing then finally nods and says a 'yes' then waits for the dreaded door to open.


	9. Cup of tea?

**Awh, I liked the chapter with the Teddy Bear. That was my favourite.  
This chapter, next to the previous one, will most probably seem boring. It's mostly speech that ends the whole thing.  
So thanks for reading even though I was about to give up on it.  
xx**

**

* * *

Cup of tea?**

_"People think it's holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go."_

Silence hangs in the air snickering at the two men, one stands hesitantly by the door, the other remains on the floor in floods of quiet tears, his face a blank canvas, eyes gazing at the teddy bear that lies motionless on the carpet.

"Who were you talking to?" The tranquillity is broken in two followed by a short laugh from Vince and the creak of the door as Howard leans on it slightly. The younger man looks up, his tear stained cheeks glistening in the light flooding in from the lounge, his hair flows freely from side to side then settles when his head is still.

"The teddy bear." He looks Howard straight in the eyes when he speaks, watching and studying the expression he receives back; he finds a gentle frown of confusion causing him to giggle softly "Stupid. Yeah, I know." He shrugs, his head drops back down towards the floor, his legs and backside are numb from sitting on the hard floor. His eyes go back to being fixed on the furry toy still lying sadly on it's back surrounded by hairspray, combs, brushes and accessories.

"The bear I gave you? You still have it?" Vince looks back up at Howard now wearing the same frown of confusion and nods gently sniffing back tears loudly. He finds it odd that Howard doesn't think to mock him for talking to a stuffed toy. He watches his friend close the door and cross to the bed sitting himself down on the squeaky mattress "I heard everything you said." The words slice through Vince leaving behind trails of embarrassment the same colour as his flushed cheeks "I don't hate you." These words soften the blow of the previous sentence causing him to smile a tiny bit, he remains silent, he focuses on his breathing and continues to listen while watching the bear.

"And I don't think you're stupid." Howard continues "My anger got the better of me, Vince. I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Vince half shrugs a reply not moving his eyes from the toy.

"S'ok." He mutters half-heartedly and finally breaks eye contact glancing upwards.

"No it's not okay. I'm sorry this wasn't easy for you, sorry I made it difficult for you actually. I'm not mad with you, I'm more mad with myself." He remains silent this time, the tears getting the better of him "And I miss us being friends as well, we used to talk and have a laugh all the time. Now it seems like I'm the parent looking after a stroppy teenager, no offence."

"Non taken." Vince shrugs, a slight smile playing at his lips "I have been a bit of a tit haven't I?"

"We all make mistakes." There was a pause in the room, the silence was tense, even Vince had stopped crying, "I'm sorry I told you you'd get over it eventually. I shouldn't have said something like that, I panicked."

"S'alright. I'd rather be friends than have you running away from me."

"Or yelling at you." Vince nods in agreement with a slight laugh "So...This list, I meant to ask you about the last thing."

"Oh yeah..." He looks up at his scribbled out art work and frowns "Didn't mean to put most of that."

"Anger fuelled?" Vince nods and looks back down at the floor "We'll have to clear it up before Naboo gets back, he won't be very happy at all." Howard stands and straightens his shirt still gazing with a frown at the wallpaper.

"Howard?" Vince asks before his friend leaves the room "Are we friends now?"

"Always were, little man." Vince grins finally and bobs his head down in slight embarrassment as Howard crosses to the other side of the room then sits down next to the younger man "I think he wants an apology for being thrown across the room." He holds up the teddy bear in a gentle hand and waves it at Vince who laughs softly.

"Sorry teddy." He says in a child-like manner then takes the toy and bounces it up and down on his knees gazing at it "Now my secret is out." He notices Howard's confused expression then explains, "I talk to teddy bears." They smile and laugh softly. The tension is shattered completely as Howard pulls Vince into a hug, just a quick one that ends with a smile and a question.

"Cup of tea?"

**End.**


End file.
